Make Money

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.

##CONTINUE##"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Fall in Love

Girl, Please Fall in Love with Me
After the self-study class at night, I opened the computer. I sorted out the male net friends to the Frog Concentration Camp and several unlovely girls I’ve seen to the Dinosaur Concentration Camp. Then I began chatting with the three girls left.
Me: Honey, let’s fall in love!
Talented girl: OK. Are you a Party member?
Me: No, I’m not.
Talented girl: Are you a League member?
Me: Well, no.
Talented girl: Well, are you a member of China Young Pioneers?
Me: I used to be one many years ago. But why do you bother asking such questions?
Talented girl: Then I can’t promise you. At all events, I’m the team leader of our class.
…
##CONTINUE##Recalling the painful experience, I still have two girls to chat with.
Me: Girl, let’s fall in love!
Lonely girl: Good. After all, I can fall in love.
Me: Well, didn’t you love someone before?
Lonely girl: No. They always said I was a dinosaur.
Me: Umm, in this case, we’d better break up at the moment.
Lonely girl: No, I don’t agree. It’s my first love…
55555555555…
Now the last girl left, I would especially cherish her.
Me: Girl, don’t you want to fall in love with me?
Jiaojiao: I think it’s OK, but I’d like to ask for my father’s advice.
Me: My God! You asked your father this kind of thing? You surely don’t have your own definite idea!
Jiaojiao: It’s not like that. I am just 5 years old and haven’t learnt to type. It is my father who types for me.
Me: …
Then I said: Hello, uncle.

An Energetic Wife

Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?

Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.

Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?

Husband: I... I happened to be inside the coat.

A perfect son

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son.How old is he ?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

A Smart Housewife

A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning.

She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

Do You Know me?

Boy: Isn't the principal a dummy?
Girl: Say, do you know who I am?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'm the principal's daughter.
Boy: And do you know who I am?
Girl: No.
Boy: Thanks goodness.

Something Really Cheap

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?", he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.

"That's a bit much", said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit", Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

##CONTINUE##"What I mean", said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

We Left Nothing

Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING."

When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:

##CONTINUE##"THANKS! WE HAVEN'T LEFT ANYTHING!"